Your Memoir Needs to Have a Point
Crafting a compelling memoir means that you write with focus and intent. Your memoir isn’t just a list of things that have happened to you, rather it’s a narrative of how you navigated your life and what you’ve learned as a result. But sometimes, finding that center—that “So what” factor—can make us feel lost and uncertain.
But finding that purpose is so much more simple than you realize. Let’s talk about it.
What memoir is and isn’t
For writing purposes (not marketing, because that’s a separate lens altogether), memoir is a narrative. Memoir takes the events from your life and crafts them into an experience for the reader. Autobiography, on the other hand, is concerned primarily with conveying information in a clear way. You’ll see at the bookstore that several books marketed as memoir are actually autobiography, but for the purposes of your writing right here, right now, memoir is a first and foremost a story.
When writing about your life, it’s natural to think that your memoir is about you. But in reality, your reader isn’t coming to your memoir because they care about you (harsh, I know). Your reader doesn’t care about what happened to you so much as what you did with what happened to you. Your reader cares about you far more than they care about what happened to you, so what did you do as a result of the events in your memoir? How have you changed? What have you learned?
Even further, your reader cares about their experience within your memoir. They’re not coming to your memoir just because of you; they’re seeking out a specific reading experience and have hopes that your memoir will deliver. So what experience are you going to curate for them?
To know these answers, you have to know the point of your memoir.
3 core questions
Finding the point of your memoir is actually quite simple. Ask yourself these three questions, and the purpose of your memoir will become more clear:
What am I writing?
Who am I writing for?
Why am I writing it?
The WHAT
Because your memoir is a story, it needs to have a focus. Your memoir isn’t just a repository for a life dump: It’s a mindfully curated narrative designed to give your reader an experience. You don’t want your reader to come in to your memoir and then need to decode the meaning behind your story—that’s your job!
So what are you actually writing? What events and experiences are you going to pull from to support the point of your memoir?
The WHO
Remember that your memoir isn’t about you—it’s about your reader. So who is your reader? Spend time getting to know your reader inside and out: What brought them to your memoir? What about your story is going to speak to them? How will they be able to see themselves in your story?
When you know who you’re writing for, you’ll have clarity about what they’ll need to know to receive the message you have. Your writing sessions will be so much more dialed in because you can picture who is on the other side of the page.
The WHY
This is the key that pulls this foundational work together: What is the purpose of your memoir? This is where you ask, So what? This is the place where you put the what and the who together to create a real, authentic message that will keep you grounded throughout the writing and revisions process.
Remember that divining the why of your memoir should be done through curiosity, not judgment. If you’re still struggling to anchor into the inherent value that your story has, pause this process and do the inner work you need to do to validate your story to yourself. When we’re figuring out the So what of your memoir, we get to be curious and open.
What’s next
Now that you have these questions answered, you have a compass that will guide you from wherever you are in your writing to the place you actually want to be. Use this compass as a foundation for your memoir manuscript, and your writing will be aligned and dialed in.
If you’re still struggling with actually feeling like a writer or with the inherent value of your story, you’ll want to go through my workshop Identity. With this workshop and accompanying workbook, you’ll learn how to tap into that writer identity and embody that as a part of your life.
If you liked this post, you’ll resonate with episode 24 of The Memoir Method Podcast.
