sabbath

I had a whole post written. Then I shifted gears into parenting mode. It was maybe an hour between when I wrote the post and then sat down just now. And my post was gone.

If that’s not January, I don’t know what is. (I have an ex-boyfriend who described January as a “month full of Mondays.” He wasn’t wrong.) The original post waxed poetic about the melancholy of January, about how even though I don’t hate this month the same way I did as a child, that I can still carry some malaise. But here we are. A fresh start. Even when I didn’t want one.

I’ve had a historically complicated relationship with January. Resolutions! But also rest. Fresh starts! But also quiet. New year, new you! But also stillness and sitting with who you are right now and knowing that’s enough.

On the seventh day God rested. Maybe on the first month, I can too.