How to find time to write when life is already too much

It’s December, one of the busiest months of the year (maybe the busiest?). We’re supposed to feel merry and jolly, and we’re also supposed to already have our wrapping finished and cookies delivered to neighbors and work parties to show up to and Advent to observe and travel to plan and memories to make, dammit!

You love writing and maybe even had a dependable writing routine throughout the fall, but the holidays have thrown off all of your rhythms. Your manuscript languishes in a dusty folder on your computer, crowded out by address labels for holiday cards. Your document slips further and further down the “recently opened” menu, and every time you see it you feel a pang of guilt.

Let’s figure out how you can fit writing into your day when your calendar is packed and your energy needed everywhere—and the key to making more time probably isn’t what you expect.

What does writing do for you?

Ask yourself how writing impacts you. Do you write as a way to make sense of the world around you? To articulate your ideas and better understand yourself? To escape, because sitting down to write is so much fun for you? When you know why you want to write, you’ll better know how to fit it in.

And if your answer is, I want to write because I think I should write everyday, that’s not good enough. Try again! If we base our why in what we think others think we should do, we’ll let ourselves down over and over and never feel fully connected to the work.

How can a regular writing practice support my season right now?

Evaluate your current season (if you’re reading this when it publishes, you’re probably in the busy end-of-year season). Your season of life could be bringing home a new baby, moving houses, starting a new job, or the start of a school break, a long-awaited vacation, or the end of soccer season. Whatever season you are in, ask yourself how a regular writing practice could support that season.

Note that I didn’t say how you can support your writing practice. How can your writing practice support you? Unless writing is your career, your writing exists purely for you. So how can that writing add clarity or subtract noise?

Maybe your writing practice can support you in this moment by anchoring your days, providing familiarity and consistency that calms you when every other rhythm is out of sync. Maybe you write because it makes you feel like you, and when you go for too long without writing you feel disconnected from yourself. You might write because you believe in the power of your manuscript and know that it deserves a place in the world—you feel called to write and feel clear and purposeful when you do.

Or maybe a regular writing practice isn’t serving you in this season. Maybe saving your writing rhythms for January is the best place for them right now—if you could just let go of the guilt. Maybe writing isn’t working for your brain the same way that it used to and you need some time to reconfigure what a regular writing practice could look like for you.

However writing rhythms play into your days, make sure that they are supporting you and not the other way around.

How to actually make the time to write

The million dollar question: How do I make time to write?

The practical answers are what you can find anywhere: wake up early, stay up late, stop scrolling, set a timer, turn off distractions. But I want to answer this question by reframing how we look at writing and writing rhythms. When we know why a thing matters to us, our lives will make room for it.

I want you to look at the purpose writing has in your life and how it currently fits into your days. Once you know why your writing matters and how it supports you, you can then start designing your days to support your writing, which in turn, supports you. Are the pieces clicking together?

You have a writing routine where you write for 30 minutes before your kids get home from school every day. When you are in this rhythm it feels amazing. But then one of your kids comes home early with a fever. The virus runs its way through your family, and before you know it it’s a week later and you’ve completely fallen out of your writing rhythm. You have two ways of approaching this detour:

You feel guilty for missing so many days of writing and promise that you’ll start again tomorrow. But you feel overwhelmed because it’s been a week and you don’t know how to jump back into your groove. Every day you tell yourself you’ll get back to writing, and every day you put it off and keep feeling guilty about it.

OR

You notice that after a week of not writing you’re not feeling like yourself. You miss those pockets of quiet and the flow of words from head to page. When you sit down to write, you feel lighter, and if anything is true right now it’s that you need to feel lighter sometimes. You know that writing supports you by lessening your load, so you joyfully find 30 minutes to reengage with your writing practice. You immediately feel more connected to yourself and think, Oh yes, this is why I make room for writing. No guilt, no shame, just contentment and gratitude.

You don’t want routines that support your writing if you’re not clear on why you write or how writing serves you. But when you know why writing matters and the role it plays in your well-being, your rhythms and routines will naturally adapt to include your writing practice. Waking up early won’t feel as hard when you know that it will set you up for a calmer day. Putting down your phone at lunchtime and pulling up your manuscript instead will feel freeing rather than obligatory. When you change your mindset, your days transform.

Conversely, if writing doesn’t serve you in this season, you can gently let go of the guilt that whispers, But writing should serve me always. You can note its importance and trust that you will return when the time is right. Writing is, ultimately, a tool of connection, with others and with ourselves. If a regular writing practice isn’t forging connection with either of those entities, then feel free to put it down for a time. I promise that you’re still a writer, even when you claim rest.

When you are a writer, that desire roots in your bones. It’s okay to feel out of sync with your writing, and you can trust that writing will make its way back to you, whether that’s tomorrow, next month, or next season. When you're a writer, you are always a writer. You don’t have anything to prove to anyone, even yourself.

If this post resonated with you, I’d love it if you shared it with your friends. And if you’re someone who wants to write but feels overwhelmed at the entire idea of writing your story, you might be a good fit for my new group program starting in January. Head here to join the waitlist and be the first to know when registration is live!