3 Ways to Identify What Your Memoir Should Be About
Sometimes I meet with writers who know exactly what the focus of their memoir will be: they know the story, the conflict, the resolution. They know what they want to say and are just foggy on how to write it. Other writers come to me with a spark that they have something to share—they just don’t know what it is yet.
I know how to work with both of these writers and put their thoughts—regardless of whether they have a manuscript yet—through this same process to ensure that the focus of their memoir is tight and compelling.
Does it convey a transformation?
Memoir must communicate a transformation, and the good news is that in memoir the definition of transformation is flexible. You can write about an external transformation, a way in which your outward circumstances changed who you are or how you saw yourself or an institution; or you could focus on an internal transformation, a mental / emotional / spiritual shift that happens primarily in your mind and heart, while your external world goes on mostly unchanged around you.
Yes, a transformation is always internal because you are sharing a change within yourself, but what ignites that change and how your own transformation affects the people around you will determine whether or not the transformation in your memoir is external or internal.
What are the stakes? What do you have to lose / gain?
How to Tell a Story by The Moth highlighted this term for one of the most crucial elements of storytelling (and by extension, memoir):
Stakes are what give a story urgency and energy. They create tension. They fill the [reader] with excitement or dread, and they give them a reason to go on this ride with you. Clear stakes establish why you care, which tells us why we should care.—The Moth
Once you have identified your transformation, name why that transformation matters. What did your transformation put at stake for you? A job, a relationship, a way of seeing the world? Maybe even your own sense of identity? When you can articulate why you care about your transformation, your reader will care too.
Trust your intuition.
As much as I can instruct writers about writing techniques and guidelines, writing is also an art. You will not write a compelling memoir if you write something that doesn’t sit well in your gut. Maybe you have a fantastic tale of high stakes and dramatic transformation, but if your gut is telling you to pump the brakes, consider pressing pause.
Conversely, if you keep coming back to a story (or even a moment) and can’t yet articulate the transformation or the stakes, get excited. This is your chance to dive deep into one singular instance and discover why that moment means so much to you! I’d rather that you follow your gut and spend time fleshing out everything else later than go in with transformation and stakes set but write with misalignment.
The truth about memoir
Memoir is a singular genre because while it communicates true events and feelings, it also follows almost every fiction convention out there. As an editor, my greatest piece of advice about choosing what to write about is to follow your intuition. If you know what your heart is telling you and don’t know what to do with it, I’m here to help you fill in those blanks and discover why your gut is telling you to write this story in this moment.
If you want a guided approach to discovering your story and starting your memoir, you might be a good fit for my new group program, The Memoir Method, opening in early 2023. You can head here to join the waitlist and be the first to know when registration opens!
