When Should I Write a Memoir?

I had this boyfriend. I loved this boyfriend. We fit together in very easy ways, and whenever I was around him I was happy. We were talking about getting married—and I was waiting for a sign. I was waiting for that big firework, burning in my heart, angels-singing-in-heaven moment to assure me that this was the right choice.

It never came. And you know what I did? I married him anyway.

I didn’t need a sign to confirm to me what I already knew: we were good together and we had as good a shot as any when it came to marriage. We’re still married, and I’ve had very few revelatory moments in my life, especially with the big things. I move forward, trusting that God will stop me if I’m going the wrong way.

How often do we wait for a sign or the right moment, when really all that waiting is really just procrastination dressed up as self-awareness? Writing your memoir isn’t too different from deciding to whom to marry. Not really. Life will always be uncertain, and the stars rarely align to give you the perfect six- to twelve-month writing window. If you’re stuck waiting for the “right time,” do this instead.

1. Ask why.

Why are you waiting? What is stopping you from just writing? If you’re waiting for the “right time,” I have a spoiler for you: You’ll be lucky if time just finds you. Maybe it will. I’ve seen it happen. But if you want to write—truly want to—you’ll make the time to write. When you can dig down to why you’re actually putting off writing, you’ll have more honesty with yourself and a clearer path forward.

2. Trust yourself.

Easier said than done, I know. Self-doubt is a bane of writers that creeps up both when we most and least expect it. Banishing that self-doubt isn’t our goal, though. The goal is to trust ourselves enough to push through the self-doubt and into that writing reality we know is waiting for us. (And if you’re still working on that core of self-trust? I’ve got you. We can work on that together.) The more you practice trusting yourself, the easier it is to write.

3. Just start.

Sometimes you just have to start to get ideas flowing and to give yourself that boost of initiation. Once you have a document on your computer, it’s harder to forget that you have started. Deciding to create something and then starting that thing? That’s no small thing. Nothing is stopping you from starting. Don’t think about the finish line yet. Just start.

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