How to Know What Your Memoir Should Be About

I was researching what people Google about memoir writing, and I stumbled on the question, Can a memoir be about anything? The answer to this question is simple: yes, a memoir can be about anything. But knowing what stories from your life have the legs for a memoir is a different question altogether.

Ingredients

When I was growing up, my mom taught me how to bake brownies. Not that boxed baloney, real, made-from-scratch brownies. One day she asked me if I could bake a pan for the family to share after dinner, and I was more than happy to oblige.

The house smelled amazing, we devoured whatever pasta or chicken dish was on the menu, and readied ourselves for homemade brownie magic.

They were awful. Inedible.

I had forgotten to add the salt.

A brownie recipe has a specific set of ingredients in specific proportions to make the result delicious and palatable. Forget to add one ingredient, and the whole pan is useless.

Your memoir isn’t much different from that pan of brownies. Your memoir idea must include just a small set of ingredients to make it appetizing and lasting.

Idea / anchor

The most basic element to your memoir is your idea. You don’t have to have it completely outlined or fleshed out, but knowing the bare bones of what you want to write about is an obvious starting point. The reason you need an idea is that your reader needs an anchor. While your mind may brim with philosophies and lessons learned, those won’t work as your idea. You need a moment or event to anchor the rest of the book.

Transformation / resolution

Take your idea, and identify its transformation. How do you change? What makes point A different from point B? How do you want to bring your reader on that journey with you? A story where the characters don’t really change isn’t one a reader will want to stick with.

My story just now about the brownies? That has an idea, but no transformation. There’s no way I could build a memoir out of that story. Allowing your reader to witness your own growth and evolution will give them resolution once they finish that last page.

Stakes / investment

Your memoir has to have stakes, something to lose, a dash of risk. It’s this risk that will keep your reader invested and caring about you. Where’s the drama? And when I say drama, I don’t necessarily mean external, Hollywood-level drama. Drama here means gains or losses: this could be a relationship, a job, a belief, an identity or sense of self.

Why is your reader going to care about your story? What about your story will connect and resonate with your reader?

What to do with your memoir ingredients

Filter your ideas through these three elements and see which ones pass muster. Which ones spark excitement? Which idea won’t leave your mind? That’s the idea to run with, the one to build out as an outline with characters, setting, and structure.

Remember that writing a memoir is not a linear process, and if this framework doesn’t work for you? That’s fine. I know you have an idea that’s big enough for a memoir. Comment if you need help figuring out what you should write about!